Why We Make Resolutions

Like many of us, I have spend the last several days thinking and dreaming about the new year. What would I like to accomplish? What steps would I take to get there? How should I plan out my work days to achieve those goals? I truly enjoy that feeling of anticipation, of getting ready, of the timeless moment before you take that first step. Of looking in the mirror at the future you and getting excited about what you see!

Whether you’re looking to lose weight, pursue a goal, start a business or simply make some healthful changes, the first step is simply deciding to do it. Make a commitment. However, for many of us, that’s about as far as it goes without some purposeful guidance. If it were as easy as all that we’d all be successful, and no one would ever need to seek out coaching or read a self-help book.

My guess is you’ve been to this rodeo before and already know you need some structure in place in order to make change happen.

We all feel instinctively drawn to new beginnings – new weeks, new months, and yes, New Years – as a good time to reset and make changes. As it turns out, there’s a good reason for that.

In a series of studies, forthcoming from the journal Management Science, researchers found that fresh starts do push us to change our behavior. The beginning of a week, a month, or a year forms what the psychologist Richard Thaler calls a “notational boundary.” With that, researchers suspect, comes a sense of optimism, the promise of “a new me,” as Milkman put it.

However, researchers also found that people without a clear plan were more likely to fall off the wagon. Optimism fluctuates. We underestimate the time and tenacity it requires to achieve those goals. We have a better chance of sticking to a goal if we follow a plan.

And sometimes, that means letting someone else help you create and stick to that plan.

So why not take advantage of the moment? What is it you want to achieve this year? Are you ready to do this?

I’d be honored to guide you through! I have a few slots available for individual coaching. Why don’t we get on a call together and see if this approach might be right for you?

We’ll use my TACtical approach – tiny, actionable changes – so that you never feel overwhelmed. Together, we’ll create a clear plan for success. And I’ll hold you accountable and be there to support you every single step of the way.

Doesn’t that sound good?

This is a lovely testimonial from one of my clients:

“Today I’m so grateful for you!!! thank you for helping me get strong and healthy so I can do what I love 🥰  🏔 made it to the top for sunset …48lb pack and then got to enjoy THIS amazing sunrise yesterday… dream come true when you’re willing to do the work and you’ve got Miki on your team 😎 You ROCK.”

Whatever your goal is for this year, together we can make it happen.

Here’s to a strong and successful 2021!

P.S. Ready to hit the ground running in 2021? Book a free call with me today! 😊

Resources: The New Yorker – Why We Make Resolutions (And Why They Fail)

My Story

A little story about the power of committing.

We don’t know each other yet, but I’m going to get real here.

I am a passionate freak about CrossFit. I love everything about it – the community, the training, the sport, the way it teaches me to be a better human. I am, as they say, ‘all in.’

There’s a reason for that.

When I was a young woman, I was singularly focused. I loved to sing and dance, and in pursuit of this I moved to New York City at the tender age of 18, ready to take on the world.

I was prepared, I was persistent, and I got very lucky early on, so I continued to prepare, to practice and to be persistent to keep that lucky streak going.

I felt completely fulfilled and excited to be living the life I had dreamed of for so long.

Are you familiar with the phrase, ‘Life happens while you’re making other plans’? I met a boy and fell in love. We got married and had children. I left my career, as it did not mesh well with family life.

So I got a job, one I didn’t particularly like, but one that offered health insurance and a steady paycheck. We had another child. There was plenty of love and laughter, but the truth is I was deeply unhappy.

You know that phrase, “living on purpose, with purpose”? I was doing the opposite of that. I felt lost.

Fast forward a few more years. My kids got older. I got older too. I have found that getting older offers some perspective that you maybe can’t have when you have young children and you’re in the trenches, fighting for your sanity. 

Enter CrossFit.

My husband suggested it. I thought he was crazy. I was a desk jockey. I’d never touched a barbell. But something deep down told me I desperately needed to make a change in my life. So I took a chance and gave it a try. And for some reason, even though it was physically and mentally harder than anything I’d ever experienced, I kept coming back.

Slowly, something began to bloom deep, deep inside me. I hardly recognized it, hidden as it was behind work and housecleaning and mountains of laundry. But bloom it did. And grow.

There were people who saw that little seed growing and encouraged it. And slowly, almost without realizing it, I was becoming stronger, faster and more confident. I was becoming an athlete.

And to my surprise, I wanted that. 

There is power in reconnecting to your purpose. Training has become my practice. It teaches me to be in the moment, and to strive to bring my best self to everything I do. I am not always successful. I fail pretty much every day. But I learn from that, and I continue to grow.

To anyone out there who struggles with self confidence, or feels lost, or like they don’t know who they are anymore, I see you. I have been where you are and I am with you now, standing ready with a little water, a little sunshine, and a lot of nourishment to help you grow.

The first step begins when you start to believe in yourself and your limitless potential. Everything you need to live on purpose, with purpose is already inside you.

So what’s holding you back?

Do you hear what you’re saying?

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

How many times have you walked into a situation, taken one look around, and thought, “Oh no…”
“…I’m terrible at this.”
“…I can’t do that.”
“…this is going to suck!”

You are not alone. If you are trying to achieve a goal, or try something new, you will definitely be faced with uncomfortable situations. In fact, learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortable – getting outside your comfort zone – is necessary for your personal growth.  However, it’s natural to be intimidated from time to time by the work put in front of us.  The good news is we have the ability to help ourselves break through those mental barriers by using positive self-talk.

Practicing positive self-talk teaches you to make positive choices in your weakest moments. It can be as simple as telling yourself, “Breathe.” when when you’re standing in front of a room full of people who are hanging on your every word.

SealFit Founder Mark Divine encourages us to develop a personal mantra that we can repeat to ourselves when negative thoughts threaten to derail us, like “Day, by day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” or to use power statements like, “I got this!” or “Piece of cake.”  You get the idea.

When a negative thought comes up, don’t worry and obsess over it. “Name it to tame it,” says Justin Su’a, sports psychologist for the Boston Red Sox.  “Notice the negative thought, name it, and let it go. Then reframe the thought in a positive way.”

I have been finding this exercise particularly helpful, because it’s not about ignoring reality. It’s about acknowledging the reality instead of fearing it.  For instance, instead of thinking to yourself “I hate public speaking; I’m really bad at it…” try changing your inner dialogue to turn it into a positive statement, such as, “Ok, speaking in public is not a strength of mine YET, but I’m going to continue to find opportunities to practice this skill and I will be well prepared every time.”

It puts us into a fix-it mode as opposed to a powerless one so that you are now actively part of the solution instead of being at the mercy of something.  Catch yourself when you reflexively react with fear, and see if you can’t find a way to reframe your thoughts and feelings. Don’t defeat yourself before the battle begins. Language is a powerful ally. Use it to your advantage!

Henry Ford said it best: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right!”